Sane and Sober (Part 2 – Titus 2:3-5)
December 11, 2025
As I continue to investigate the role of an older woman as described by St. Paul in Titus 2:3-5, there are so many things to unpack in this passage. St. Paul sets out the expectation that older women be able to wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined).
3 Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble,
4 So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children,
5 To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited). (AMPC)
Other translations of verse 4 use words like “sober-minded, sensible, live quietly, discreet.” Being discreet describes someone who is careful and circumspect in their speech or actions; is appropriately quiet, prudent, and restrained. This verse puts me in mind of the description St. Peter uses in 1 Peter 3:3-6.
3 Do not seek to adorn yourself externally—by the braiding of your hair and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothing. 4 Rather, let your adornment be of your inner self, the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 It was in this way that the holy women who placed their hope in God long ago used to adorn themselves and be submissive to their husbands. 6 Thus, Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him her “lord.” You are now her daughters as long as you live good lives and never allow fears to alarm you. (NCB)
If you ever want to contrast the call for Christian women to reach higher, these verses are a stark contrast to Hollywood! The Real Housewives of (name the place) aspire to the exact opposite of these two bible passages. There is no disciplined, quiet, and gentle spirit. All the adornment is external. And there is certainly no attempt to adapt to their husbands. Hollywood is the antithesis of what older Christian women are to teach and model to the younger women in their circle of influence.
In contrast to the in-your-face behavior we see on TV and on social media, the characteristics of a woman who is discreet, sensible, quiet in her soul, and restrained is not that of a shrinking violet. This is a sane and sober woman who is a tower of strength to her family and a worthy partner to her husband. She is not overly alarmed by fears. She does not freak out or fall apart. She does not shut down when faced with adversity. She is disciplined, sensible, and sober-minded.
Freaking out or falling apart does not help anyone. If I suffer from anxiety that causes me to shut down or freak out, it is my responsibility to seek treatment. There is so much stigma around mental illness, depression, and anxiety. As an older woman, part of my mentoring of the younger generation is to manage my own mental health and to not be afraid to talk about it in appropriate settings.
Many years ago, I hid from my friends and family the fact that I was regularly seeing a counselor and taking medication to help me sleep and manage depression. It was hard work to find a balance. Finally, I started to talk with my friends about what I was going through and how I was managing it. I know that my transparency encouraged a few people to seek help during rough patches in their own lives. One friend told me her thought process was, “Well, if Julie can do that, I can too.” Perfect!
I can’t teach or coach another woman to be sane and sober-minded, if I am not sane and sober-minded myself. St. Peter says that the gentle and quiet spirit of a woman is precious in God’s eyes. If that is the case, then it is my responsibility to continue with my efforts to reach and maintain good mental health and seek the inner peace knowing Jesus provides. It is also my responsibility to encourage and support other women to reach for the same.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me the courage and insight to recognize and act when things disturb my peace and mental well-being. Direct my steps on my journey to be the sensible, sober, and disciplined woman you want me to be. Give me a tender heart to see and reach out to others when I sense they need my support or encouragement in their own journeys. Remind me to turn to You and Your Word daily for the wisdom, help, and comfort that only Your Word can provide. I ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Read Part 1 (“Taking My Place”) here.